And the mommy guilt is back

Didn’t take long, did it?

One of the hardest times as a mommy has been giving up pumping.  I was almost killing myself trying to pump enough milk for my Lil Man to have at school.  No matter how often/long I pumped, what tricks I played (like not nursing on one boob and only pumping from it since it pumped ‘better than the other one’ – wtf was I thinking?!), or how early I woke up to pump, it wasn’t enough.  It took a while to make the decision stop the insanity and send in bottles of formula instead of breastmilk.  It took even longer to be okay with doing it.  And now, the formula that I give him has been recalled.  The only consolation I have is that he only gets 12 ounces of formula, and only five days a week (versus 27 oz a day every day if I had gone full-formula). 

I’m going to go ahead and pat myself on the back for nursing as long as I have.  And although I wish he were strictly nursed and no formula had ever crossed his lips, I realize that there have been times where it had to be that way.  And that I have been a better mom for not being connected to a pump for hours a day. 

And it’s not that formula is bad.  Just because one company (SIMILAC) slipped up doesn’t mean the entire industry is bad, and possibly not even that company.  Although I will say their customer service has been pretty douchy to me.  I bet you’d love to give me those $5 coupons now, huh biatches? 

Just as a note, I’m not getting into a formula/breastmilk debate.  I wanted one thing for my child, that does not mean I think every child should have the same.  As long as the child is fed, I won’t pass judgment.


About aliciamariel

wife, mama, crafter, traveler. always want to learn more.
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