I need a bubble bath.

I need a bubble bath.  Badly.  I want to soak in hot water, pour in all my jams and jellies, read a good book, put on a face mask, and let the tension fizzle out of my neck and shoulders and drown away in red-velvet-cake-scented bubbles. But that would mean that I have to find time to clean my tub, which isn’t bad, but still, it takes time. 

And time is one thing I don’t seem to have.  Between Thanksgiving, and all the DIY stuff I did for Lil Man’s birthday (which I’ll post about soon, because I’m going to be an attention whore about this – I made my own cupcake liners, by God!), trying to settle back into life after a road trip (why are they so much more tiresome with an extra tiny person in the car?!), work being at its busiest, with more work getting piled on every time I turn around, and houseguests this freaking weekend.

I feel like I’m a rubber band that’s stretched to the max and  like I’m stuck inside a pinball machine all at once. 

And now all the holiday stuff is starting…my husband’s office party, a neighborhood roast next week, my office luncheon (which means I’ll be working extra hours from home to get my regular work done), the Christmas party at the Boys and Girls Club where I volunteer (where the hell am I going to find time to make 200 cookies for them?!?!), my Junior League provisional group party, mom’s night out (and possibly a mommy group get together with the families)…And that’s not even counting the events I have to attend for my job (at a church during Christmastime – eeks!), and even if I were just to show up at all these things, we know that it’s not just showing up.  I have to figure out what to bring, where to go (because I still don’t know my way around town), gifts to buy, figure out what to wear, and what Lil Man should wear. 

And I haven’t even begun to get my house ready for Christmas.  My decorations are still somewhere in the attic and other parts of my house, and I haven’t even started to think about what to actually make for Christmas dinner (because I’m hosting this year for the first time). I haven’t made a gift list, or thought about who I need to get gifts for and what I’ll get them.

I want to slow down, soak in a hot bath, take a few deep breaths and start all over.  I want to get away from the bouncing back and forth and find meaning again in this part of the season.  I don’t want to just ‘show up’ at the places I have to go.  I want to go in full of joy to be around all these awesome people that are part of my life.  Because I am very thankful and happy to have so much in my life.  I’ve never experienced anything like this. And I know that it’s just a matter of time before some of these friends fade away or move away and I won’t have these great people around me.

I want to teach Lil Man about all the good stuff at this time of year.  The fun, the excitement, the giving from the heart (not gift giving, but the spirit of giving, you know?).  I want him to enjoy this time, not dread it like I’ve come to dread it.  

I’m kind of at a loss.  I don’t know how to simplify this time of year.  I want to do it all, because it’s all so good.  But I can’t.  I don’t want it to be ‘holiday stuff’.  I want it to be fun and exciting. I just don’t know how.

How do you simplify?  How do you make sure that this time of the year is special and stop it from being a time to bounce around from commitment to commitment?

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About aliciamariel

wife, mama, crafter, traveler. always want to learn more.
This entry was posted in Domestic Goddess, Mommy Guilt, rants. Bookmark the permalink.

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