Cookies for dinner. Don’t judge.

You know those cookies you make when you have a little bit left of everything, so you get your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe and dump everything in it?  So you end up with an amazing concoction that you will never ever ever be able to replicate because it’s just half-handfuls or so of whatever is yummy in your pantry?  Yeah?  Well, that’s my dinner today.  Because that’s the kind of day I had today.  The kind that makes it okay to have incredibly unhealthy, artery-clogging, uber fattening cookies for dinner because it was just that bad.

It doesn’t help that yesterday was rough.  Not bad, just rough.  I worked about 15 hours, with one hour of a break in which I dashed out to get some teacher appreciation gifts.  This consisted of me whizzing about the bath store doing a very convincing impression of the Tazmanian devil.  I must have looked pathetic, because the sales girl actually took pity on me and gave me some free gift bags.

I came home at about 10:30, had a tiny bit of time with my husband, worked for a couple of hours on a presentation that I was dreading, and went to bed for a whopping three and a half hours, because the hubs had to leave at 4 a.m. to catch a flight.  And of course at that point, there’s no point in going back to sleep.  I knew at that if I did go back to sleep, I wouldn’t wake up until noon at the earliest. 

So, let’s recap how I start off the day: over-tired, stressed, doing the single mom thing for the next few days, about to do a presentation (which I haven’t quite perfected), and I can’t find any clean clothes that will work for the presentation (I did find something clean and acceptable), and I’m running late.

Fortunately, Lil Man is an angel, giggly and happy to work with me as I twist and turn him to get his diaper changed and his clothes on, and get him ready.  He eats breakfast quickly, and in giggles (how can cheerios be so funny?), and we somehow make it out the door at a decent time.  I find awesome music on the radio and I start getting energized and my mood starts lifting.  Then I get to Lil Man’s school and find out that his favorite teacher, the love of his life, is leaving the center.  I’m crushed, ready to cry.  She’s taken care of him since a few weeks after he started at the center.  When she was switched out of his classroom, she came in on her lunch break to play with him.  I’m torn between being relieved that he’s too young to really get what’s going on, and feeling sad that I can’t explain to him and wonder if he’s going to miss her and think he did something wrong.

Off I go to work, where I spend the morning preparing and dreading my presentation.  I finally get to the meeting and begin my presentation.  I think I’m doing alright and then….I get the effing crimson waves.  FML. And apparently, I was still able to do an alright job with the presentation, because immediately following the meeting, I was asked to take on a project almost overnight.

Finally done for the time being, I go pick up my little guy.  He’s wearing his cookie monster shirt and starts showing me his toy du jour as soon as I walk in the classroom.  Life is good.  We get home, and apparently, rotisserie chicken is even funnier than cheerios. We play outside in the gorgeous weather.  We chat with the neighbors over the fence.  We play and giggle and he spends a long time on my lap and we take turns reading his favorite books.  At bedtime, we cuddle for what seems like forever, and he gazes up at me, smiles and cuddles a little closer.  Seriously – I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.  I squeeze him for a few more minutes, and lay him down in his crib.  I can’t complain about the end of this day, can I?

Except that it’s not the end of my day.  I still have a couple of hours of work ahead of me, and I miss my husband terribly.  Oh, and the dog needs…something.  Xanax is my guess, but we don’t have a prescription. I go downstairs to do some work and get bogged down in stress.  I remember the frozen cookie dough in the freezer and think to myself “Eff all this.  I’m doing it.”  I pop the cookies in the oven and let the house fill up with the sweet scent of cookies in the oven. 

And here I am, midnight looming, purging my stress out to the Internet, about to have dinner.  Yes, my dinner of choclate chip(mini and regular)/ caramel bits / coconut / almond / toffee / pecan cookies and milk.  Because it’s been that kind of a day.


About aliciamariel

wife, mama, crafter, traveler. always want to learn more.
This entry was posted in Lil Man, Mommy Life, rants. Bookmark the permalink.

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