That’s What It’s All About

No, I’m not talking about the hokey pokey, although I have the feeling I’ll be doing a lot more of that in the future.  I’m talking about life, family and enjoying them without feeling like pulling my hair out.
I’ve had a lot of changes in my life recently, the biggest of them being that I quit my job (!!!) so I can stay at home with my son and focus on our family life.  With all the long hours and travel that my husband has to do, it’s become increasingly important for someone to step back and make our home life a priority.
I came to the realization that I wasn’t being a good mom, wife or employee.  I wasn’t winning at anything in my life.  I was just mad-dashing from here to there, not really investing in anything, just getting things {barely} done.  I lacked balance in my life.  After too many days of giving Lil Man Easy Mac for dinner, a week where I was up at 4 a.m. working and worked all weekend, I realized I can’t do it any longer.
And why was I trying to do it all? I’m still not sure. The plan had always been for me to stay home.  I am certainly not a career gal.  I had a job in my field that was fun, but I had it mainly because it was flexible and family friendly, but that had changed a while back.  I was just doing what I’d been doing without thinking about whether I needed to do it, like a hamster in its wheel.
My life has taken on a whole new direction, and I like it.  The day after I turned in my two week’s notice, I was able to breathe better and had time for little things – reading an extra book to my son, little longer conversations with my husband. I’ve been able to keep up with our home a little more and holy crap! I’ve actually had time to talk to my neighbors!
And as confirmation that this was the right choice, my son decided to learn to leap out of the crib a week after my last day at work, while my husband was out of the country.  It was up to me to convert the crib to a toddler bed and stay up pretty much 24 hours a day, since my son didn’t take well to the toddler bed.  He’s like a newborn, waking up every couple of hours, except that this newborn can run to find his mama when he wakes up.  So yes, it’s a very good thing that I’m able to be home.  Thankfully, he’s down to waking up two times during the night, so things are looking up!
Staying home is tiring and the work never ends – if one more person tells me I’m now a ‘lady of leisure’ I might become a ‘lady on trial for assault’. I never expected things to slow down.  If anything, I knew it would be more hectic to chase after Lil Man all day (by the way, he can climb to the top of a six-foot chain link fence in .02 nanoseconds) than to lose myself in my Adobe Creative Suite (oh, how I miss it!).  I just couldn’t do both.
Cash is tighter, of course, but I’m turning those shortfalls into highlights. Like yesterday, I had to take my Lil Man to get new shoes.  Normally, I just buy food while I’m out, but I packed a lunch for us in an effort to save my pennies.  Instead of eating fast food, we had a picnic at the park when it was time for lunch.  {Wanna know something really odd about me?  I always have a picnic blanket in my car.  Always.  I’ve used it maybe three times.  Don’t ask me why I do it.  I really don’t know.} It was simple picnic.  We just sat down, ate our sandwiches, and waved at that came within a 50-foot radius of us.  We put on the hoods on our sweatshirts, which cracked him up for some unknown reason, until he realized I had tricked him into wearing his hoodie, which immediately kicked off screams of “Off! Off! OFF!!”
But isn’t that what it’s all about?

About aliciamariel

wife, mama, crafter, traveler. always want to learn more.
This entry was posted in Deep Thoughs, Lil Man, Mommy Life, Soul Searching, Stuff About Me. Bookmark the permalink.

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